Conflict... What Conflict?

Although the very timely topic for the night was the management of difficult social exchanges, it certainly is not easy to think about skirmishes and strife while enjoying the genial atmosphere of Toastmasters Club BCN.

Nine visitors were present, and after they introduced themselves, our president, Sean Palit, presented us with the Circle of Success theory. We all wish, and have the potential, to be successful, but where can these tenets best be applied? In Toastmasters, of course, as well as in the challenges presented by sports.

Jelena Vetockina was the Toastmaster of this English-speaking session. Wisely aware of the necessity of successful conflict resolution, she promised us many take-home tips to resolve any difficult situation.

The technical team consisted of Ah-Counter, Soledad Castellano, who in addition to explaining her role, provided us with hints on how to avoid their use. First, she said, if you project your voice to the audience, you are less likely to need them. Second, make judicious use of pauses without fear. The truth is, the audience feels the pause length to be far shorter than the speaker. And lastly, recording your speech during your practice helps you hear the outcome, making you more conscious of your Ah-Um-Eeeh use.

Maria Luisa Gomes, our Grammarian, used an analogy to compare grammar use with photography. She explained that, just as the position of a camera has a huge influence on the resulting image, the correct (or incorrect) use of grammar can seriously alter the meaning and the message of your speech. The word of the night was “Trailblazer”, a very inspiring term that seems to define the hopes of many.

Sebastian Ortega, pinch-hitting as timekeeper, reminded us that, although Toastmasters was a bastion of British-like politeness, the use of time within the sessions was of Swiss-bred importance. And in case we did not get the message, veiled threats of throwing a bucket of ice water upon serious time-management offenders were added.

Roberto Dei Giudici took the stage for his second speech (“Anger, Aggression and How I’ve learned to Deal with It” – Competent Communication Manual – 2 – Organize Your Speech). He presented us his theory of what powers an angry reaction: that it is the outcome of feeling “stuck”, and frustration at not being able to move forward, and thus leads to blame. The solution, he feels, is to follow a three-step plan: empathy, so to relate to the other’s dilemma; an acknowledgment of the situation; and finally, the making of a suggestion or proposal towards corrective action.

Jelena remarked that Roberto’s speech was uncannily right on target, given that she had set conflict-management as the night’s theme.

It was Zuzana Smakalova’s turn next, to entertain us with a speech that transported us to Morocco (“Feel the Magic” – Competent Communication Manual – 4 – How to Say It). Camel rides, immense deserts, the experience of absolute silence while in the presence of others, and indigenous people equally awed by the expansiveness of their very own home. A special, one-off experience that she realized, upon returning to Spain and reality, could be repeated daily – if we take the time to observe our surroundings and surrender ourselves to the magic.

Mariyana came on stage dressed to lab researcher perfection, and described to us the discovery, development and the surprisingly variety of uses of a well-known pharmaceutical product. (“The Blue Diamond” – Speeches by Management – 1 – The Briefing) It was both informative and amusing, opening our eyes to the realm of possibilities contained within one little blue pill.

The evaluators of the evening (Emilie Jaquetton, Sean Palit and Manolo López) provided the three speakers with point-on praise and precise advice.

Members of the audience were encouraged by Cristina Gil to come up with a mini story based on three disparate words. Hailed by Jelena as a very creative Table Topics premise, Cristina explained that she had often entertained her niece and nephew with this game to pass the time on the way back from school. Thus, Isabel (mouse-bike-snake), guest-member Dan (window cleaner, traffic lights, penguin), Anna (milk truck, rainbow, sofa), Sebastian (key, carrot, scissors) and Yanina (screw driver, elephant, fireman) successfully built up a short but entertaining tale with the sparse tools provided them.

Enrique Alvarez, the overall evaluator, suggested certain logistic improvements (“more sheeeeets, please”) and in general praised all participants for their efforts during the session.

Lastly, before the gavel was sounded to end the session, we were reminded by our president that he and other TMC BCN members would be flying to Milan the next day, to take part in an important regional event. Also, this year’s Christmas party is to take place on the 16^th of December – details to be announced – and that all were welcome. And finally, a reminder that the final session of 2017 was to take place on December 20^th, in Spanish, and that all were encouraged to attend what would be a very special event. 

So, without further ado, we will apply the conflict-management skills skillfully summed up by Jelena Vetockina  throughout the week, as we look forward to the next session of TMC on November 29th.